LET’S CHANGE OUR STEREOTYPES ABOUT FIDELITY
It is generally accepted that stable relationships require loyalty. As a rule, it is associated with obligations and debt to a partner. Take, for example, the most common phrases about loyalty that we often hear:
"Loyalty is a responsibility to another person."
"Loyalty is not an innate feeling, but a long-term decision to stay with a partner."
Let’s look at relationships rationally: to make a decision, to take responsibility, to pacify our deepest instincts and to protect ourselves from “passions” for many years.
It is possible that we have learned this understanding from the Christian norms of virtues and morals. And scientists tell us all time say about the primacy of the frontal lobes of the brain. It doesn't matter where it came from and how this idea of loyalty is reinforced. It is important that the focus is on mind, commitment, and debt.
But it's not only about duty and intelligence! The sense of reason really helps a person to pacify their desires, but it is also necessary to take into account biological mechanisms. Feelings of love and affection can have such a powerful effect on us that they easily suppress the rational thoughts. And then what are we left with?
From time to time most people experience temptations that threaten the virtue of loyalty. And most often, when this happens, they talk about unexpected hormonal fluctuations. Not so long ago, scientists began to admit that human values, such as loyalty, have a biological basis
The release of oxytocin, which is also called the “embrace hormone”, occurs naturally. Here are some fairly simple but effective ways to increase oxytocin.
1st WAY. SOFT TOUCHES
This simple tool is familiar to almost everyone in love. Gentle touch, subtle stroking is the source of a strong wave of excitement. It is not surprising that muscle neurons quickly deliver information about such bodily contact down to the hypothalamus - the center of excitement, reward and pleasure in the brain.
2nd WAY. SOFT STROKING OF A PARTNER’S BACK
Researchers at the Medical Center in Los Angeles offered to compare the effect of a 45-minute massage to work out the deep tissues with a light massage of the same duration. It turned out that the experiment participants experienced a greater influx of oxytocin from a light massage. Since each person has their own individual perception of pressure, it is recommended to start with very light touches and then increase pressure as needed.
3rd WAY. MASSAGE OF NECK AND LOWER PART OF THE HEAD
Tactile contact not only increases oxytocin levels, but also relieves stress. It is believed that the upper sections of the back, neck and occipital part of the head – are all places of accumulation of stress. Light contact and massage of these zones can be a very powerful way in which one can increase the level of oxytocin.
4th WAY. DON’T FORGET ABOUT HUGGING
Remember that love requires confirmation of loyalty through touch. Sue Johnson, a family psychologist, believes that “the majority of quarrels occur on the basis of a feeling of breaking up with a loved one. Stress causes fear that our partner will not be next to us at the right moment.” And therefore, when meeting with a person you love, don’t forget about the importance of a simple hug, it will work wonders for your relationship.
5th WAY. INITIATIVE
Often we expect our partners to take care of us and we completely forget about our duties. Try to initiate a mutually pleasant contact yourself for a change.