Let's start with an evolutionary explanation. A good way to make this logic crystal clear is to imagine that you live in the era of pre-modernism, in which most of our evolution took place. And your only goal in life is to transfer as many genes as possible to the next generation. If you are a man, then you will be ready to admit that the best way to spread genes is to have as many children as possible. One of the acceptable options in this who can have a lot of children. On the other hand, a man could mate with as many females as possible. If he had a relationship with five women a year, then he could have five children. But he probably could not take care of all the children. Finally, a man could combine the first and second options. Nowadays, with the exception of a deranged fertility doctor who secretly fertilized his clients with his own sperm instead of the sperm of their husbands, no one tries to spread their genes as much as possible.
Distribution of genome
This is the male half of the equation. Now let's see what would happen to a woman who wanted to repeat the feat of spreading her genome. She would immediately understand that she would never be able to have as many children as the most “successful” men in this matter have. While a man can have five children from a relationship with five women, a woman, having a relationship with five men, will have exactly the same number of children in a year, as by having a relationship with one man. The women themselves believe that in nine cases out of ten they would be better off if they held on to one suitable partner. They choose men who can take care of children.
Women are too picky
The idea of evolutionary psychologists that men are only interested in having sex and spreading their genes, denoting the number of partners, and women looking only for only partner in life, is very wrong. First, to say that men are more interested in casual sex than women does not mean that they are less interested in long-term relationships. Most men are interested in both. And this is an important part of a developed person of reproductive age. Both sexes are able to fall in love and create long-term relationships. The pursuit of casual sex is only one component of the male psychology of mating.
There is a competing model that assumes that sexual differences did not arise as a result of evolution, but as a consequence of the development of culture. Here is how this version is presented. When it comes to casual sex, men and women do not play in the same field. The birth of a child entails more significant biological costs for women than for men. Women know that whenever they have sex just for fun, they play roulette with an unwanted pregnancy. Despite reliable contraception, it is still more of a problem to women than to men. And pregnancy is not the only problem. Men are not only stronger, but more prone to physical abuse. Women also put themselves at greater social risk. Even today, there is a double sexual standard: men with many mistresses are regarded as heroes, and women are regarded as sluts. All this, of course, has a serious impact on women's sexual behavior, reflecting human rationality. People weigh the costs and benefits of casual sex and act accordingly. If men and women have different sexual appetites, then this should not be attributed only to evolution. They are strongly influenced by socio-cultural aspects that surround us.